Love as a Radical Act — My Perspective on Relationships and Caste

Love Should Be A Radical Tool Of Rebellion Against Caste - BehanBox

When I speak about love in the context of caste, I’m not speaking about romance as a private emotion. I’m talking about how love intersects with power, caste hierarchies, dignity, and freedom — and how it can be a radical act of rebellion against entrenched social norms.

For more than two decades, I’ve worked with young people from deeply marginalised backgrounds — NT-DNT communities, Adivasi groups, rural families, migrants, and LGBTIQ youth. In training sessions, conversations about gender, relationships, body literacy, and constitutional rights often lead to something deeper: how caste shapes intimate relationships in unequal and painful ways. 

It quickly becomes clear that romance is not always a safe or equal space. For many young women from marginalised castes who are educated, employed, and confident in public life, relationships with dominant-caste men are often fraught with power imbalances. These imbalances are not accidental — they are rooted in the social reality of caste privilege.

I remember a young woman — let’s call her Nikita — whose experiences mirrored those of many others I’ve spoken with. In group discussions, girls shared how their emotions were toyed with, their dignity taken lightly, and their autonomy undermined — simply because their caste location made them socially vulnerable.

This is why I say: love can be a radically political tool of rebellion. It has the potential to speak truth to power because it crosses the very lines that caste seeks to draw. When love resists caste boundaries, it challenges the idea that people from certain backgrounds are less deserving of respect, commitment, and dignity. 

Dr. B. R. Ambedkar saw this clearly when he said that intercaste marriage is a powerful way to kill the spirit of caste and caste consciousness. He also believed that a healthy relationship is built on friendship and equality — a principle that should extend beyond caste, gender, and inherited hierarchies.

But this ideal collides with reality. Many young men — especially from dominant castes — never learn what it means to be partners in equal relationships. Too often, dignity is taken for granted in private spaces, even while equality is celebrated in public. When caste privilege shapes how someone treats their partner, the violence is subtle but deep — emotional exploitation, manipulation, withdrawal of commitment, and the refusal to take responsibility.

I’ve seen this play out in stories like that of Akshata (name changed), a young Dalit woman pursuing higher education. She and her partner shared emotional and intellectual intimacy on seemingly equal terms. But when it came to long-term commitment, caste boundaries reasserted themselves — and she was left to face the emotional fallout alone, while he walked away with the safety net of social privilege.

For a young woman carving out an independent life in a society still shaped by caste and gender inequity, these experiences are not just heartbreak — they are violence against autonomy, dignity, and self-worth.

Why Love Can Be Revolutionary

Love can be radical when it:

• refuses to accept caste-dictated limits

• insists on mutual respect and equality

• refuses to make dignity negotiable

This is why I continue to insist that love should be understood as a political and moral practice — not merely an emotional experience. When love challenges caste, it becomes a space of resistance, courage, and human dignity.

Reference

This reflection is based on my essay “Love Should Be a Radical Tool of Rebellion Against Caste” published on BehanBox, where I explore how caste and power shape intimate relationships for young women from marginalised communities.

Love Should Be A Radical Tool Of Rebellion Against Caste - BehanBox